How To Build Self Esteem And Resilience – New Groundbreaking Podcast Series By Visionary Psychologist And Bestselling Author Barbara Becker Holstein

How To Build Self Esteem And Resilience – New Groundbreaking Podcast Series By Visionary Psychologist And Bestselling Author Barbara Becker Holstein –

Saving Today’s Generation Of Girls – Building Resilience And Self Esteem Is The Answer Says Bestselling Author Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Saving Today’s Generation Of Girls – Building Resilience And Self Esteem Is The Answer Says Bestselling Author Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein –

Coming Of Age, Self Esteem And Resilience – Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Announces Bestseller Status For New Preteen Workbook, Looking Good, Feeling Good

Coming Of Age, Self Esteem And Resilience – Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Announces Bestseller Status For New Preteen Workbook, Looking Good, Feeling Good –

There really are different cognitive stages of growth. Here is an example of one that Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, positive psychologist remembers!

I remember standing on the playground at Stratfield School in Fairfield, Connecticut, as clear as if it’s yesterday. I can almost expect to walk up to the mirror and see the 9 year old girl in the mirror that was me. My hair was medium brown and wavy. I had on oxfords and high socks and a dress with a short jacket over it. It was cool but not freezing out. And I remember saying to myself, “I’m in fourth grade now, and my mind just seems to be working clearer. I understand things so much more easily. I know I am different than when I was in first, second, and third grades. I feel more grown up. I like the way my mind feels.”

As I look back now, I realize I felt and recognized some momentous change had happened in my cognitive functioning. And I can also say without hesitation that the result was a feeling of pleasure.

Diary Entry from the Chinese Version of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

I thought a lot of you might enjoy seeing some of the diary entries that are only being read in China at this point in time. Some of course, may appear in the second book in The Truth Series in the United States. Here is one of them. Let me know what you think.

“My cousin Eddie isn’t in college anymore. My parents were all upset yesterday because they got a call from my Aunt Lil saying that Eddie was thrown out of college. She was crying so hard on the phone that my dad had to keep telling her that it would be alright and just take a deep breath and get a drink of water.
I was eating breakfast and listening at the same time. I heard my father also tell my Aunt that probably he could go back to school but after he was clean. That didn’t make any sense to me.
So I made my mother tell me everything after my father left for work.
She said that Eddie was caught taking drugs. He was swallowing stuff in his room that could have made him very sick and he was giving it to other kids in the dormitory. The Dean of his college made him leave. My aunt is trying to find him help so he won’t do bad stuff anymore. That’s what my dad meant by getting ‘clean’.
I know what drugs are. But I never knew anyone who took any.
I play cards with Eddie when we go to visit once a year. He is five years older than I am, but I still liked playing with him and he never teased me. He was nice to me.
It is sad and scary what happened to him. And that’s the truth.”

Listen to My Interview on Book Bites

Book Bites for Kids interviews me!

Description: Host Suzanne Lieurance talks with Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein about her book, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

Listen to the Interview Here

Download the Mp3


A Secret Valentine Sent by The Girl in The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

Dear Diary,

Last year I wrote my secret entry about Paul on Valentine’s Day.  Do you remember?  I sent him a Valentine and I was so desperate to see if he sent me one.  I had to open Valentines from everyone in the class until I found his.  Do you remember what it said?  It said, “Be my Valentine.”38a  I was so happy.  I could hardly sleep that night.

This year I will of course be sending Paul a Valentine.  Even though I don’t feel quite the same about him.  I’m not sure why, but I know one reason is that he looks away a lot when I look at him.  I think he might think I’m staring at him.

Anyway, I decided to do something else this year.  I read about the idea in one of my mother’s magazines.  It was  in an article  called BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.  There was a  long list of things you could do to be nice to yourself.

Some were stuff like skip the laundry this week ,  buy yourself a new nightgown and get a new hairstyle.   Some of  the list sounded stupid.   Anyway it was for women, not girls.  But the one thing I liked was Send a Valentine  to Yourself.  So I’m doing that this year.  I have almost finished it.  I made it out of construction paper and lace and it is very beautiful.  And you know what I’m saying?

“I love you very much and I’ll never forget you!”  I am very excited.  I’m even going to glue little candy hearts on it.

Don’t tell anyone.  They would think I was silly.   Remember, it’s a secret.

Seven Gateways to Happiness For Girls-How Do We Help Our Girls Walk Through the Gateways to Happiness?

39aThere are Seven Gateways to Happiness that we all need to walk through, in fact, we must walk through them again and again to attain true happiness.  Why?  Because although each is different, they all hang together.  We can”t be complete without success in all seven.  I”ve talked at great length about how as women, we best walk through these Gateways.  In fact, you can download for free, off of the front page of a paper that will take you through the Seven Gateways to Happiness.  But what if you are a girl?  Is it exactly the same?  No it is not.  Kids are different from grown-ups and so is the journey to happiness.  Are parents essential in helping their kids walk through the Seven Gateways to Happiness?  You bet!  You are critical.  So let”s take a look.

The first Gateway to Happiness is Recognizing the Best in Ourselves.  Having good self-esteem is another way to put it.  How can we help our kids recognize the best in themselves?  Certainly not by criticizing them, nor putting them down, nor by talking about embarrassing things in front of other people.  Certianly not by showing disappointment in their achievements, or evaluating them in comparison to other siblings or friends.  To help kids, and in particular, girls, get through the first Gateway to Happiness we need to encourage their talents, their strengths, their coping skills and their potential.  Sounds easy?  Sometimes it is.  But sometimes it is hard.  What I would like to see as a strength in my child, may be what she is weak at.

So we need to learn how to discuss and communicate effectively with our daughters.  For instance, I would like my daughther to be social and comfortable with people.  She may be instead somewhat of a loner, who”s strength is a feel for nature and all that is in it.  She collects rocks, she feeds birds, she studies spider”s webs.  Bottom line is she is different from my expectations.  Most kids are.  But the responsibility of a parent is to love and develop your child to the best of her abilities anyway.  So to the best of my abilities I need to let her know that I treasure and value her strengths and yes, that I am also very proud of her when she combines those strengths in ways that develop her weaker side-in this case, her social side.  I”m proud because I love her, I respect her differences and yet as a parent I know it will be better for her if she develops many facets of her personality.

When you read, The Truth (I”m a girl, I”m smart and I know everything) you may begin to recognize how I have woven the Seven Gateways to Happiness into the story.   Of course, as even the “girl” in the book needs to walk through all seven to achieve happiness.  Next time we will look at the Second Gateway to Happiness: Falling in Love With Ourselves.

Kids, Tweens and Teens with Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein interviewed Venessa Van Patten, author of Your Grounded!

In this week”s podcast I interview Venessa Van Patten, who is the author of Your Grounded!  She is a remarkable young woman who has actually done research on the thoughts, actions and feelings of teen-agers.  Listen to the inside scoop!  We discuss her research, her growing up her book and of course The Truth (I”m a girl, I”m smart and I know everything).  This is a great show.

Right click here and choose “Save Target As..” to Download the Mp3

Wow! So many of us went on Mystery Rides as Kids!

On July 5th, 2008 I’m the guest on The Puddle People Hour on BlogTalkRadio.  The two hosts are Beth Marino and Pam Sargant.  That show will be archived and available 24/7.  We pre-recorded the show tonight and of course talked quite a bit about my first book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy and my newest book, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). 23aIt was fascinating for me to go between the two books-THE ENCHANTED SELF being a rather dense book, full of case studies, positive psychology techniques, historical perspectives on women, my own journey as a woman in our society, etc.  and The Truth which is a girl’s diary written in a simple, easy manner.   However, what struck me as the most fun as we chatted was our discussion about “Mystery Rides”.  The girl in The Truth goes on mystery rides with her family on Sunday afternoons and loves them.  I was sharing her adventures when both Mary and Pam joined in saying that they also, had gone on mystery rides as children.

One family had eight kids and they would all pile into the station wagon and drive out into the countryside.  So would the other, slightly smaller family.  And Dad was the driver in both cases and he didn’t know where he was going.  But it was so much fun, discovering small towns and local fairs and at the end stopping for icecream.  The girl in The Truth also stopped for icecream at the end of the family’s mystery rides.

Now I’m wondering.  Are mystery rides universal if you are over 45?  Let me know.  I went on them also, but sometimes I think they weren’t supposed to be a mystery.  I think sometimes my father might have gotten lost!  I don’t remember icecream at the end but I do remember often ending up at Savin Rock in New Haven, late in the afternoon on Sunday after riding around.  What a treat!  That was an amusement park along the beach.   Usually I got to ride the ‘flying horses’ as we called them, my mom and Aunt Lil caught to sit on a bench and people watch and we all got to eat in the car at Jimmy’s hot dog stand, where we bought delicious grilled hotdogs (not boiled, like at home) and wonderful fenchfries that were crinkled and served in paper cones.  Ah, such sweet memories of the old days!