Staying True to the Promises We Make In Childhood

One of the themes in The Truth (I”m a girl, I”m smart and I know everything) is staying true to our childhood promises. Here is what one reviewer had to say:

28a“This book is worth reading if you’ve found yourself wondering if you always wanted to be such a career woman or a stay at home mom. It provides a unique perspective most of us have long forgotten about. I found myself often wondering if I stayed true to the promises I made to myself growing up and if I have so far become the woman I wanted to be.

I’m eagerly awaiting the release of the second book and am wondering what adventures and truths will find as she grows into a teenager.”

I can tell you that there are a lot of adventures and truths and secrets already in the second book. Yes, it is almost finished. So stay posted! We will watch the girl grow up and it will be quite a ride! Dr. Barbara

This review appears on www.goodreads.com on my author”s page.

Welcome to our weekly podcast on Kids,Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three.  Today’s podcast introduces you to the Seven Gateways to Happiness and how they pertain to girls, particularly girls as they are in the tween years of 8-12.  Martha Trowbridge, my colleague and a national expert and author on inspiration for women, chats with me about these Gateways. 

 

Thanks,  Barbara

Can You Handle the ‘Truth’? | The Jewish Exponent

27aExperts confirm what the majority of people know: Truth comes in a number of forms and reveals itself in myriad ways, and that it’s often relative, depending on the needs and expectations of the seeker.

Now, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, based in Long Branch, N.J., and a nationally known positive psychologist — an officially recognized branch of psychology that centers on what’s right with people — examines what truth is as young girls see it, in her new book, titled The Truth: I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything, the first in what is expected to be a series.

The book, which contains a “bit of mystery” because girls love that, noted Holstein, is the fictitious account of a young girl who keeps a secret diary in which she writes about the thoughts, ideas, people and events that shape and forge the truth for her.

In the process, it establishes a forum for discussion with parents and peers.

Through the eyes and feelings of the girl, Holstein comments professionally about truth’s particular impact on females aged 8, 9 and 10 years old — and beyond. It also focuses on its meaning in connection with interaction with the adults in their lives — mothers, grandmothers, fathers, teachers and others.

In the introduction to the book, Holstein, reflecting on her own days as a young girl, wrote: “One day I decided to find a way to combine what I already knew as a girl with the knowledge I have as a classroom teacher, case-study researcher, school psychologist, and a psychologist in private practice, in Long Branch, for nearly 30 years. I had to find a fun way to do this that would really help girls and mothers recognize that what we know growing up is just as important as what we learn later.”

“One day the ‘girl’ just appeared. She knew what to say and how to say it. She did a much better job of sharing the truth than I ever could have imagined. So I just let her go for it. I used a child’s voice because children understand things in a special way. In the end, the young girl will become a young woman and will keep the best of herself.”

There are 12 to 15 serious topics embedded in the book that offer young girls and their parents the opportunity to discuss the subjects. Girls throughout the world, explained Holstein, experience similar aspects of growing up, with crushes, family and sibling friction, and being bullied at school just a few of the categories that bewilder children and cause them to feel alone.

And Then There’s the Internet
When the influence of the Internet is thrown into the mix, unavoidable and continual situations for concern arise, leaving parents unsure of how to handle these challenging aspects of a young girl’s life, said Holstein.

Here’s an excerpt from The Truth: “What is wrong with human beings? I had to read The Diary of Anne Frank in Sunday school and again I felt so horrible. She died only a few years older than I am. And she loved life so much. How can it be? … ”

At the back of the book, readers will find 25 discussion questions for youngsters.

Why did Holstein write The Truth? “I wrote it because after having worked on women’s issues for years, I came to the conclusion that women at every stage of life need to find ways to build self-esteem and self-worth.

“Every girl wants a mother who listens and is aware of her behavior, especially during the tween years. Family is fun, and tweens want to feel special in their families. The Truth gives girls 8 to 14 years old the knowledge that they are not alone, while it reminds mothers what it was like to be this age,” explained Holstein.

Among her hopes for the book — which ranks second in parenting tweens book topics on Amazon.com — she said, is to see it in school libraries, adding that “my other dream would be to see it turned into a musical.”

THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) in the top 100

The Best You Can Be Foundation names YA book by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein as one of the best

July 7, 2008, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. – After an evaluation by a panel of teachers, therapists, and children, THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein has been selected as one of the top 100 books of the year. The Best You Can Be Foundation feels THE TRUTH encompasses helping girls, ages 8 – 14, feel validated and understood.11a

The Best You Can Be Award program honors products that can truly make a difference in the lives of children, parents or teachers. This award program is designed to celebrate motivational products and recommend these products to the public, our readers and our clients.

Author Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self, a focus on positive psychology. She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts for over 25 years.

Founder of The Best You Can Be Foundation and syndicated parenting columnist for United Press International, Debbie Milam highly recommends The Truth. “My 10 year old daughter could not put the book down. She savored each page with excitement that someone had put her feelings into writing,” Milam said. “After reading the book she was so inspired by it that she is now writing her own book.”

THE TRUTH is filled with wisdom that is not only life changing for girls, but truths every parent could also begin integrating into their own lives. These truths can help us connect not only with our own children, but also with our beautiful inner child.

The magic of the human spirit, with its capacity for survival, growth and joy, has always intrigued Dr. Barbara. As years went by and her practice grew, she longed to explore adult development even further – specifically how to overcome adversity and bring pleasure into one’s life while living a life worth living. A life that is a good life, filled with happiness, meaning and purpose has become the focus of Dr. Holstein’s books, articles, seminars, radio shows, television shows, newsletters, etc. Her methods of improving ourselves so we have more positive emotions and thoughts are easy to understand and move us toward mental wellness and a deeper appreciation of ourselves and our potential.

Dr. Barbara speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey.  Her inspiring audio shows and podcasts links can be found here.  Her articles and stories appear on the web on hundreds of sites. She also gives lectures, seminars, and tele-classes on happiness.

To purchase The Truth or any of Dr. Barbara’s books or other resources visit her online at http://www.enchantedself.com/, or for more information please contact publicist Michelle Blackley at mblackley@thecadencegrp.com or 917/916-3030.

The Best You Can Be 501C3 Foundation is dedicated to supporting parents and teachers to inspire children to reach their highest potential. Through teacher in-service training, parenting resources, children’s motivational programming and curriculum development, our goal is to create system where every child can find peace within themselves, develop meaningful relationships, contribute to the greater good in their community, work through stress, and be motivated to reach their highest potential. For more information on this award program http://www.bestyoucanbe.org/

“You just get to be a girl”

On TV this am ‘Samantha’, one of th stars in Sex and the City, was being interviewed.  She commented that the movie and the show was so wonderful because “You just get to be a girl!”  She then went on to say that we all 1awant that.  All women want the fun of beautiful clothes and best friends and everything turning out just right.

As a positive psychologist and author of The Truth, I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything, I agree with her.  This is a tremendous yearning in women to belong, to have dear friends, to let the playful, girly side of themselves stay alive, even when we grow up.  In fact when a women stops caring for herself in terms of making a nice appearance, often it is a signal that the woman is depressed.  Women are able to laugh, cry and share intensely all sorts of feelings and of course even though we grow up we yearn for happy endings and beginnings in our lives.  And where does all of this begin?

In girlhood of course.  And that where my book dovetails Sex and the City.  The Truth, I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything is a book where you see a girl putting down in writing her understanding of all the wonderful parts of herself so she can hold on to them.  She knows she is smart, can have fun, can solve problems, can fall in love, can have adventures, can be pretty, can star, can have best friends.  She knows all of this in her gut and she is aware that sometimes these capacities get lost as we grow up.

Samantha and her friends document that we can hold on to the best of ourselves.  And at worst if we loss some of our precious selves we can at least come and borrow the energy they exude and get recharged.  And if we can’t look as beautiful as they do, at least we can enjoy looking at them.

Stay posted for more of the Positive Psychologist’s insights on us ‘girls’.

Telling the Truth, A Review of The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everthing)

Telling the Truth

A Review of The Truth (I’m a girl I’m smart and I know everything)

Review by:  Sandra Prince-Embury, Ph.D.

Director, The Resiliency Institute of Allenhurst, LLC.

Author:  The Resiliency Scales for Children and Adolescents

Clinical Psychologist and Family Therapist

 

 

      The Truth by Dr.Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist, is the secret diary of a ten year old girl.  Although exquisitely simple in form and expression the words of this unnamed girl suggest insights that are clinically and developmentally significant.  Embedded in the journal are messages about childhood that are important for adults to hear, presented in the words of a child.  One such message is the importance of communication for children. 

 

      The girl telling the ‘Truth’ identifies and verbalizes her feelings in her own words.  In this way she models skills of self awareness and expression. Children and teens often have difficulty putting feelings into words.  It is the absence of these skills  that result in  pent up negative feelings expressed in acts of violence when they have reached the boiling point.  In The Truth, the girl believes in herself and her own experience, even when the feelings are not positive.  In this way she models self-acceptance….

 

Come back tomorrow for more of Dr. Sandra Prince-Embury’s review of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything).  I’m thrilled to share her penetrating review the captures so well so many of the reasons why the ‘girl’ had to come to life and speak in this little book.  Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com