Tag Archives: Childhood Memories

Even the smallest positive act can create such delight for a child and remain a wonderful memory for years later.

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Exercise: Play Date with a Child in Your Life

Can you think of something special that you could offer a child in your life? You don’t have to be a parent or grandparent. You may know a child down the street, or a cousin or even a friend’s child. A special outing or treat can go a long way to bringing delight to a child.

I remember when my aunt Rose arrived at my cousin’s home with a surprise for me! It was a box in the shape of a treasure chest and it contained some perfume and soaps all designed for a little girl. I was thrilled and felt very special. I can still remember lovingly keeping my treasure chest and eventually filling it with other treasures after I had used all the soaps, lotions and bubble bath. Yes, this treasure chest did make me feel special, very feminine and created a great memory trace.

I know you will have fun with a play date. Keep us posted on what you do.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is quoted in the December 28, 2009 edition of First Magazine!

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In response to a family who puts together a holiday jigsaw puzzle and brings the old puzzles out of storage yearly, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein says, “Participating in something supportive rather than competitive helps family members cement bonds. And looking at old pictures conjures positive memories.”

In response to a family that does a yearly holiday scavenger hunt for items that are usually related to long-standing family jokes, Dr. Barbara says, “The value of being together in a connective way like this is priceless”. This year the family is donating everything on the hunt to a local food pantry. To this, Dr. Barbara says, “It’s been documented that we get more of a feel-good high from doing for others than if something is done for us.”

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist, talks about how she recognized the extreme importance of Girlhood in terms of Women’s Development

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Let’s look at the end of the poem from page 169, from my first book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy: “Come my friend, my nurturer, my shadow, my knowledge of how whole I can be.” Who is that friend? Who is that nurturer? Who is that shadow? Many years of practicing as a psychologist, have convinced me that, that nurturer, that shadow is our earlier selves. Often it is that self which existed inside ourselves between the ages of 8 and 12. We know that for many girls, 8-12 is a period of soaring, when girls feel competent and so sure of themselves.

If you know girls that age, you know how talented they are. They can and do everything. They also often have special private times, keeping diaries, or sharing intimate thoughts with best girlfriends. However, the teenage years do not always encourage or keep girls thriving emotionally and intellectually. The social and hormonal pressures of growing up block the earlier talents and potential. Adolescent years can be very hard on girls and many a woman finds herself no longer in touch with her earlier talents, strengths, potential or what makes her happy.

I began to realize that my next psychological assignment was to bring the girl inside of ourselves back to life.

I began to develop a companionship with the 10 year old inside myself. I began to realize that as an adult woman that I was disappointing her. I was not as confident or daring as I had promised myself I would be. Some of my poor decisions had restricted and limited the scope of my potential and opportunities. The girl I had been had known that the world could be her oyster. She wasn’t much afraid of anything and also had a lot of inner wisdom. She was resilient and determined. She had faith in me-the adult she would become someday.

The Truth Official Book Launch

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Girls between 8 and 12 can and do everything. However, adolescence can be very hard on girls and years later many a woman has lost touch with her earlier talents, strengths, potential or what makes her happy. I worked to develop a companionship with the 10-year old inside myself. Suddenly, getting to know myself as a child again was serious psychological business.

That’s when I wrote a journal-style book, The Truth (I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything!) If you are a woman, it will make you want to dance with your inner 10-year old and make her energies a part of yourself again. If you are an adult, you will see the child in your life in a much more profound light. You will want to help her hold on to her wisdom, wit, sense of competency and self-esteem. If you are a kid or a ‘tween, you will feel understood and connected to this fictional girl. After all, she is like you. The girl sees so much and knows so much as we all did at 10 or 11. And wouldn”t it be great to hold on to the energy and confidence that can go with that stage of life?

Women and girls of all ages, kids, tweens, teens, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles thank me for bringing this book to them. It opens the door to communication, and they see themselves, their daughters, nieces and granddaughters in the girl. Girls feel she is speaking for them while women remark that they wish this book had existed when they were growing up.

Now, this book is available on Amazon and those who buy it will also receive nearly $6,500 in free downloadable gifts!

Enjoy!

Your friend,
Barbara Becker Holstein

The Truth is: We have all had a crush! Dr. Holstein talks about crushes, and so does the girl in The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

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32aOn p.43 of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) the girl says: “Paul and I are the same height now.  I grew this year and he didn’t.  My mother says that is common at my age.”

“I liked it when he was taller than me.  But I still love him.”

Yes, we have all had crushes.  I remember how in love I was with a fellow who took me to the movies when I was 13 and my family met up with his family at a summer resort.  I barely knew him but just sitting in a summer movie house for two hours with him and wow! holding his hand was enough.  All summer I waited for his letter that he had promised to write.  Day after day.  I carried the torch for two full months.  I couldn’t believe he hadn’t written.  After all, he had said he would!

My mother tried to console me and told me there would be lots of other boys.  Her kindness only partly helped.  I had to live through the esctasy and the agony myself.  Good news, by September, he was but a vague shadow in my past.  Someone else had my eye .  But that is another crush story!

How about you?  Who did you have a crush on?  What happened?  Was your mom helpful? 

And what about your daughter?  Does she share crush information with you?  Do you think she should?  Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Wow! So many of us went on Mystery Rides as Kids!

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On July 5th, 2008 I’m the guest on The Puddle People Hour on BlogTalkRadio.  The two hosts are Beth Marino and Pam Sargant.  That show will be archived and available 24/7.  We pre-recorded the show tonight and of course talked quite a bit about my first book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy and my newest book, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). 23aIt was fascinating for me to go between the two books-THE ENCHANTED SELF being a rather dense book, full of case studies, positive psychology techniques, historical perspectives on women, my own journey as a woman in our society, etc.  and The Truth which is a girl’s diary written in a simple, easy manner.   However, what struck me as the most fun as we chatted was our discussion about “Mystery Rides”.  The girl in The Truth goes on mystery rides with her family on Sunday afternoons and loves them.  I was sharing her adventures when both Mary and Pam joined in saying that they also, had gone on mystery rides as children.

One family had eight kids and they would all pile into the station wagon and drive out into the countryside.  So would the other, slightly smaller family.  And Dad was the driver in both cases and he didn’t know where he was going.  But it was so much fun, discovering small towns and local fairs and at the end stopping for icecream.  The girl in The Truth also stopped for icecream at the end of the family’s mystery rides.

Now I’m wondering.  Are mystery rides universal if you are over 45?  Let me know.  I went on them also, but sometimes I think they weren’t supposed to be a mystery.  I think sometimes my father might have gotten lost!  I don’t remember icecream at the end but I do remember often ending up at Savin Rock in New Haven, late in the afternoon on Sunday after riding around.  What a treat!  That was an amusement park along the beach.   Usually I got to ride the ‘flying horses’ as we called them, my mom and Aunt Lil caught to sit on a bench and people watch and we all got to eat in the car at Jimmy’s hot dog stand, where we bought delicious grilled hotdogs (not boiled, like at home) and wonderful fenchfries that were crinkled and served in paper cones.  Ah, such sweet memories of the old days!