Being Homesick is Natural

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For many kids of all ages summer is a time to venture away from home. For all children there is the first time. This they may have experienced on their first day of school. For some children separation from parents or a house for a few hours is just fine. For other children it is a much greater struggle. Now when summer comes around sending children off for even just a week for what is considered “a taste of sleep away camp” can and should be a great experience. But believe it or not, many children, to a certain degree get home sick.
What is it about the home that makes our children become homesick when they are away from home? Let’s take a look at the lyrics of the song Home from the Musical “The Wiz” and see what Dorothy sang when she was far away from home:
When I think of home I think of a place
Where there’s love overflowing
I wish I was home I wish I was back there
With the things I’ve been knowin’
Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning
Suddenly the raindrops that fall they have a meaning
Sprinkling the scene
Makes it all clean
Maybe there’s a chance for me to go back
Now that I have some direction
It would sure be nice to back home
Where there’s love and affection
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Giving me enough time in my life to grow up
Time be my friend
Let me start again
Living here in this brand new world might be a fantasy
But it’s taught me to love so it’s real to me
And I’ve learned that we must look inside our hearts to find
A world full of love like yours and mine
Like home
If your child’s been to sleep-away camp before, was their homesickness manageable? If this will be your child’s first overnight camp experience, are you overly concerned about how they will fair?
Before sending your child off to camp there are a few things you can do to help your child beat homesickness
  • Tell your child homesickness is normal, that it means he or she has a home that he or she loves.
  • Empathize with your child’s fears, but do not get infected by them.
  • Express confidence in your child’s resilience and admiration for his or her courage in going to camp.
  • Tell your child you are sure he or she will get help from counselors and friends when needed.
  • And, please, tell your children you want them to have fun. Children need to go off to camp with your blessing, not your anxiety.

Making plans for the summer – Two sides of the same coin (Parent and child)

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Side one: Lately I feel that the amount of work I’m expected to do seems to continually grow. I do not know if it because of our shrinking workforce or because of the economy picking up. I can’t wait to take my 3 week vacation at the end of July. I just keep counting down the days. I’m so excited to be spending some quality time with my family. I know they will love it!.I can’t wait to do so many great activities with my kids when we arrive at the Islands. Our last family vacation has been too long ago. The truth is that I’m really looking forward to just leaving my work behind and focus on what’s really important to me.

The flip side: I just can’t believe how my parents are trying to mess up my life! Of all the times that they chose to go on vacation did it have to be in the middle of the summer? I’m going to be missing out hanging out with my best friends and staying up all night just catching up on conversations! What am I supposed to do for 3 weeks at this resort? There not even a mall nearby! I hope I’ll be able to use my phone or talk to my friends on the Internet. Hello, does anyone care what I want to do with my time? I’m tired of seeing dad “stressed out” all the time when he comes home. What’s it going to be like going away with him? And my siblings? Don’t get me wrong, I love them but I need to have some space of my own! After all, I’m not their little girl anymore. And that’s the truth

Seven Ways To Help Our Tween and Teens Stay Healthy

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Recent reports have noting that movie theaters are losing money as the result of being forced to change the seats in the cinemas from 19 inches wide to 21 inches wide gave me a momentary chuckle but then left me thinking about weight issues that kids, and especially tweens and young teens have to deal with. All of these issues, including eating disorder syndromes, are magnified for tweens and young teens, as they develop emotionally and physically, while confronting social, academic and peer pressures.
Here is a list of seven ways to help our kids from the time they are very young to feel comfortable in their own bodies by the time they are tweens and teens. Let me know what you think of the list!

1. Praise your children for their positive actions, behaviors and words. Make it clear that their response to life as a good citizen and a loving family member is much more important than their looks or body type.

2. Don’t compare or judge people’s looks or bodies. Rather point out a person’s fine character trait or a good deed that a person has done. Your children are always listening to you and what you say, even if you think they are blocking you out! Your attitude very much influences how they will perceive others and themselves.

3. Show your children by your own eating habits, that you recognize the need for eating healthy foods. If you are out of control around certain foods and habits, what message is that sending to your kids?

4. Consider planting a small garden or learning more about the foods we eat with your children. This can be a fun activity like visiting a potato chip factory, or something more serious, like learning about the differences between organic farming and non-organic farming.

5. Cook up delicious meals, at least on occasion, and let the kids help. It can be fun to find recipes together and shop for the ingredients as a family outing. Praise them for their help and don’t get caught up in the milk that spills or the egg that fell and cracked on the floor.

6. Enjoy exercising as a family. Going to the gym or doing a sport together can be wonderful. But simply putting on music and dancing around the house or in the kitchen can burn lots of calories and led to laughs, hugs and feeling connected as a family.

7. And of course, if you child is suddenly gaining or losing weight or showing any form of eating disorder, talk to his or her doctor immediately.

Here is a Page From The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) that has only appeared in the Chinese Edition of the Book!

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We get about three hours of homework a night. I hate having so much work to do at home. I can’t stand it. I can hardly play outside anymore. I can’t ride my bike or roller skate, either. It is awful.
Sometimes I get in such a bad mood that I stand up on my bed and jump up and down like a wild woman. And then I hold my breath and just feel so angry inside.
My mother tells me to stop. Yesterday she got really scared cause I wouldn’t stop and I kept holding my breath on and off.
She went to the telephone and called her friend who is a nurse and asked her what to do. I got really scared when I heard her say that it would be ok for Jane to come over. I didn’t want her friend to see me being that crazy.
I got off my bed and stopped.
My mom called out to me, “Are you ok? Does Jane need to come over?”
I said, “I’m alright. I don’t want her to come over.”
So she didn’t. Then I just started to cry and cry and my mom held me. My brother looked frightened and ran outside. My mom didn’t even care about him. She just cuddled me and told me it would be alright.
She even told me that she and my father would go in to school and talk to the teacher and see why there is so much homework. And she would write me a note so that I could just go to bed tonight and not finish the homework. She also told me that Jane said that girls my age are very sensitive and can get upset really easily.
She really made me feel better. I felt tired and miserable from all the crying but I wasn’t so angry anymore.
I love my mother so much. She is so good to me, even though I know she hates me practicing my violin. And that’s the truth.

GIRL SCOUT TROOP 1805 CREATES Anti-bullying Message!

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I was so impressed to read about Troop 1805 out of Oceanport, New Jersey, in The Link News from November 4, 2010.  The Scouts acted on their own.  They hung anti-bullying posters in their school, purchased special bracelets for students who sign on to an anti-bullying pledge and even bought enough bracelets so the campaign can continue after they move on and graduate from the Maple Place School.
So far lots of kids at school have taken the anti-bullying pledge and put their signatures to the pledge sheet.
This is wonderful.  We need our kids to not only feel the pain of what it means to be hurt by a bully, but to care enough to influence other youngsters.  We often listen more to our peers than those of another generation.  This is a great example of smart grass roots action!
Good luck, Troop 1805!  You never know, your efforts may save the emotions and/or life of another youngster.

Fun and mystery all around! All you need is a copy of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything!)

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Here are some lines from The Truth.  Have some fun and imagine the story before and after the lines, with your daughter, your granddaughter or just yourself!

1.  Good by Miss Shanon.   I will never forget you Mr. Reid!   p.51
(One clue-school)

2.  I’m still sad for them and angry that they waste time fighting, but at least I’m in a good mood again.  p.50

3.  So this is really a puzzle, but it is still a truth that strange things can make us happy.  p.71

4.  Even grownups have to feel good, or they get really cranky, and that’s the truth. p.75

Enjoy and let me know what you created!

Click here for more of The Truth on Amazon.

On You Tube Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein interviews two 11 Year Old Girls About The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

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Come and listen to why I wrote The Truth and also how the girls react to the book!  A real girl’s response is worth a thousand imagined responses!

TOP THREE BASIC WAYS GRAND PARENTS CAN HELP GRAND CHILDREN TO GROW UP TO BE GOOD CITIZENS!

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Who has the time to focus on a child’s emotional and developmental needs? Certainly oftentimes not the parent. Most parents are frazzled, living on the edge of exhaustion and deep into multi-tasking. Parents are of course responsible for all the basics that a child needs. They provide the housing, the trips to the pediatrician, the late night soothing after a bad dream, the trips to the mall for school clothing, and most of the daily needs that children have, such as getting a ride to school, and sitting at the table for dinner.

But who has the time for the magical moment with a child? Who has the time to really listen to what she is saying and even write it down, next to a digital picture of the moment when it was said? Probably not the child’s mom or dad. And who has the time to help her develop the social and intellectual skills she really will need to be a good citizen?

Most likely it will be the grandparent. That is, if you realize how important you are, and you take the time to step up to the plate. It is you who can have the magical moments with your grandchild-find those flowers to press and start the rock collection and sit in the window seat chatting about how it was to grow up long ago. And in grabbing those magical moments you do something else. You will be doing a great service to the next generation. You will be helping them grow in three basic ways that no one else in the world may have the time or patience to attend to. Here they are:

1.You can help her develop her curiosity. Nothing stirs the mind to be curious than someone else so fascinated by a subject that you just have to learn more. You have the time to be fascinated and to pass that feeling along. For example, just learning how to grow tomatoes in a barrel can be interesting and exciting for both you and your grandchild. Or you could have a neighbor that speaks in sign language and be determined to learn some. And that curiosity that you have will rub off on your grandchild. She will be interested in others as she grows up. She will see the world as a multi-faceted marvelous place that you have helped her notice!

2. You can help your grandchild develop her intellect. Whether you live around the corner or thousands of miles away, you can send your grandchild books, interesting articles, puzzles, games, etc. And you can make sure that when you are with her you teach her lots of stuff. You can discuss the news, find countries on the globe, play word and number games, read plays aloud. All is good for developing the mind and expanding the mind so that your grandchild will think beyond her direct environment.

3. You can help your grandchild develop her social skills. You have the time to teach her manners-how to set a table. How to open a door for grown-ups. You can take her out to eat, even if it is at the local diner. And you can teach her how to read a menu, eat with intention and enjoyment, make good conversation as she eats, etc. You can teach her how to ballroom dance. Or maybe square dance. You can take her to meet your friends or to do good needs. She can help you at the local food canteen or socialize with your friends.

And what is the result? Your grand child will grow up to be a fine, caring, knowledgeable person with a desire to help others and be able to socialize with people of all ages. Not a bad accomplishment!

Seven Ways that Grandparents Can Help Their Grandchildren Grow up Strong, Safe and Happy:

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1. First of all, stay in touch with your grandchildren, so you have a good baseline on their personalities and development. If you live apart then rely on all the modern world has to offer: e-mailing, phoning and faxing, Skype, home video’s, photographs, shared family blogs and of course snail mail. Not only will you be ready to help if there is something ‘up’ with a grandchild, but you will have such fun communicating and being part of their world.

2. Help each child feel special. For example you could create scrapbooks of special moments for each child on special occasions, such as a milestone birthday. The scrapbook can contain your thoughts and wishes for the child as well as photo’s, special souvenirs saved from times spent together, and even family history. Each scrapbook can be very different, reflecting the needs and interests of a particular child.

3. Whether you see your grand kids every week or every three years, make sure you spend some alone time with each child. It is amazing how differently kids share themselves and even their hopes, dreams and secrets when the other siblings, or parents are not around. If you can’t do much, even a slow walk around the block will lead to good fun and a better knowledge of your grandchild.

4. Now that you have the relationship going well, it is time to become very observant. Do you see any strange or unusual habits developing? Or do you see some social changes? These could include everything from an eye twitch to excessive crying, bullying of a sibling, spending too much alone time in her room, a change in friends that gives you some concerns, or maybe too few friends. It could also include such things as becoming a very picky eater or suddenly putting on a lot of weight.

5. If there are changes as noted above, don’t react with drama or accusations. That is sure to set your own child off, and perhaps close the door to your visits and also, perhaps, perpetuate a bad situation so it will become worse. Rather, talk gently and with care and in private to your child. Perhaps say something like, ” I notice that Janet seems to spend a lot of time a lone this summer. I don’t see Anna belle and Susie come around anymore. I was just curious about this.” And then let your own grown child have some time to respond. She may appear indifferent or she may open up and share her own concerns. Your granddaughter will be best served if follow your own daughter’s lead and see where it goes. It may be painful, as you wish to change everything at once for your granddaughter. Sometimes we can only plant the seed and long after your visit you will find out that your granddaughter is indeed in counseling or working with the school guidance counselor in a peer group for social issues.

6. However, if you see a real crisis, then you have every right as family to be persistent and direct. For example, if you hear your granddaughter throwing up in the bathroom after meals, you should speak with authority (again in private) to your daughter, that she must take your granddaughter in for a medical exam. Eating disorders are real and potentially even fatal. You have a responsibility to react strongly.

Likewise, if you see one of your grand kids bullying and or physically punching, pushing hard, etc. on a younger sibling again and again, talk to your own child seriously. First of all, it is dangerous. Your older grandchild could hurt the younger one both physically and emotionally. Secondly, he could have his own emotion problems that need attention. Lastly, he could be a bully in the making and will also intimidate and hurt other children in the school yard, on the street, in the school hallways, etc.

7. Lastly, remember to share yourself with your grand kids. Just because everyone today has a cell phone, doesn’t mean the kids aren’t fascinated by the fact that your had one phone in your house when you grew up, or that the family of six drivers shared one beat up car or that you got up at 6:00 am for your paper route through town. Maybe you even had a doctor that still made house calls when someone was suddenly ill! It is the richness of your history along with your wisdom and willingness to push for the health and happiness of your grand kids that make you a great grandparent. Don’t give up your assignment! The kids need you!~

GRANDPARENTS CAN BE CRITICAL TO THE SAFETY, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS OF GRANDKIDS

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Sometimes, as a Grandparent, you may think you are dispensable. You are kidding yourself. Even grandparents that are visited once a year or even less frequently leave a remarkable imprint on a grandchild’s life and have an important role to play. We know some of the reasons why. For one thing, most grandparents give off a sense of love and adoration for the grandchild that few parents have the energy or interest to sustain. Also, grandparents are good at providing extra treats, often coming through with a special gift or the money for a science camp, a trip to Disneyland or some other experience in life that the parents simply can’t or don’t feel obliged to offer. Lastly, grandparents are so interesting. They may live in houses or apartments that feel from another time. For example, they still may have a record player in the closet with a bunch of rock and roll records on the shelf or maybe opera’s. It doesn’t matter, it is just so much not where the child lives every day. And the TV has a giant back to it! There are old pictures on the tables and somewhere in the back of a closet are white leather gloves that great grandma wore on her wedding day!

But even beyond what I am mentioning so far, grandparents have influence that can be critical. Grandparents have that extra pair of eyes that parents have often sacrificed in the line of daily duty and upkeep of the children. By this I mean that they come to the family and the kids, often with fresh eyes. As the newcomer who may not have visited for a week, or a year, they often immediately can tell when something is off. Parents can miss these subtleties. We know that human nature acclimates to an awful lot. A quick test of this innate quality is suddenly looking at pictures of yourself from a couple of years ago. Suddenly a current look in the mirror reflects aging or at least change. On a daily basis we don’t see change.

So when grandma or grandpa come to visit or you visit them and the smell a rat, listen with every fiber in your body.

And grandma, when Abigail slams the door and doesn’t seem quite right, get ready to put on your detective eyeglasses and play sleuth. You may be even instrumental in the saving of your grandchild’s life, or at least her sense of well-being.

You don’t believe me? Well, stay with me and we will discuss Seven Ways that Grandparents Can Help Their Grandchildren Grow up Strong, Safe and Happy!