Tag Archives: Tweens

Yes, One Little Girl Can Make a Difference in The Quality of Life for Many!

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Several years ago I received an e-mail from a young girl in Vietnam who had read The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything), in Vietnamese. She loved the book and decided to write to me. It is a long story, but Linh and I have been penpals for almost two years now. And not only have we written about our lives and our families, we have talked about many subjects, including how important charity is and how important it is to try your best to make the world a better place. Linh shared with my the problems on an orphanage in Vietnam that she is very concerned about. They don’t have enough money and certainly inadequate equipment to try to rehabilitate children with physical and mental disabilities. The women who work at the orphanage try their best, but still the children are not getting the chance they deserve.

I felt for these children and sent money to Linh, mom, Le Thi Hoai Thanh, who took the money for me to the orphanage. Of course Linh went with her. They have actually gone twice and I have been awarded two certificates! Here are a few of the pictures.

Linh and I are determined to raise money for these children and hopefully find some ways to get them the resources to develop their minds and bodies that they need. I never thought I would be working on a cause with a girl I have yet to meet in person, who lives 8000 miles away from me. But Linh has an unbelievable heart and the ability to convince a grown-up like me that we must try to save a small part of the world! These are babies and children and they need our help and resources. Here are some reactions to Linh’s second visit to Hoa Phuong Village:

“Well, Hoa Phuong Village is here again, I thought.
I was standing with my mother in the boundless garden of the village. Truthfully, I wanted to visit families there very much ; but first of all, we had to meet the village Vice-director. She was still friendly ; I felt so because she gave me a lot of guavas. They were very sweet and tasty….My mother took a number of photos. After that, a woman took us to a family in which babies and homeless children were brought up. The family had many lovely kids. They were so cute that I just wanted to kiss them, especially an innocent baby. Unfortunately, I don’t know his name. We talked to the two mothers in that family. They were both middle-aged women and they told us a lot about the children. Finally, we said goodbye to the mothers and the kids, and we left with packets of guavas.

I had nice memories after going to Hoa Phuong Village. Therefore, I think all of us-everyone all over the world-should help poor people and children with all our best. To be more exactly, please don’t make them feel lonely and disappointed….” Linh Hoai

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist, talks about how she recognized the extreme importance of Girlhood in terms of Women’s Development

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Let’s look at the end of the poem from page 169, from my first book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy: “Come my friend, my nurturer, my shadow, my knowledge of how whole I can be.” Who is that friend? Who is that nurturer? Who is that shadow? Many years of practicing as a psychologist, have convinced me that, that nurturer, that shadow is our earlier selves. Often it is that self which existed inside ourselves between the ages of 8 and 12. We know that for many girls, 8-12 is a period of soaring, when girls feel competent and so sure of themselves.

If you know girls that age, you know how talented they are. They can and do everything. They also often have special private times, keeping diaries, or sharing intimate thoughts with best girlfriends. However, the teenage years do not always encourage or keep girls thriving emotionally and intellectually. The social and hormonal pressures of growing up block the earlier talents and potential. Adolescent years can be very hard on girls and many a woman finds herself no longer in touch with her earlier talents, strengths, potential or what makes her happy.

I began to realize that my next psychological assignment was to bring the girl inside of ourselves back to life.

I began to develop a companionship with the 10 year old inside myself. I began to realize that as an adult woman that I was disappointing her. I was not as confident or daring as I had promised myself I would be. Some of my poor decisions had restricted and limited the scope of my potential and opportunities. The girl I had been had known that the world could be her oyster. She wasn’t much afraid of anything and also had a lot of inner wisdom. She was resilient and determined. She had faith in me-the adult she would become someday.

Join Dr. Holstein on her Book Tour!

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Dr. Holstein’s THE TRUTH (I’M A GIRL, I’M SMART AND I KNOW EVERYTHING) VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR ‘09 will officially begin on Dec. 1st and end on Dec. 16th as part of Pump Up Your Book Promoti0n’s 12 Days of Christmas Virtual Book Tour Special. You can visit Dr. Holstein’s blog stops at www.virtualbooktours.wordpress.com during the month of December to find out more about this great book and its talented author.

Diary Entry from the Chinese Version of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

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I thought a lot of you might enjoy seeing some of the diary entries that are only being read in China at this point in time. Some of course, may appear in the second book in The Truth Series in the United States. Here is one of them. Let me know what you think.

“My cousin Eddie isn’t in college anymore. My parents were all upset yesterday because they got a call from my Aunt Lil saying that Eddie was thrown out of college. She was crying so hard on the phone that my dad had to keep telling her that it would be alright and just take a deep breath and get a drink of water.
I was eating breakfast and listening at the same time. I heard my father also tell my Aunt that probably he could go back to school but after he was clean. That didn’t make any sense to me.
So I made my mother tell me everything after my father left for work.
She said that Eddie was caught taking drugs. He was swallowing stuff in his room that could have made him very sick and he was giving it to other kids in the dormitory. The Dean of his college made him leave. My aunt is trying to find him help so he won’t do bad stuff anymore. That’s what my dad meant by getting ‘clean’.
I know what drugs are. But I never knew anyone who took any.
I play cards with Eddie when we go to visit once a year. He is five years older than I am, but I still liked playing with him and he never teased me. He was nice to me.
It is sad and scary what happened to him. And that’s the truth.”

CHINESE VERSION of The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is now for sale in China and Dr. Holstein has received six copies. The Chinese title is The Truth, with the sub-title being: My Secret Diary. I’m a smart girl. And I know everything!

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Can you imagine my excitement when I came to my office last week and saw a package for me from China? I was thrilled just looking at the exotic stamps on the package. But I was much more thrilled when I opened the box and there were six copies of my book The Truth in the Chinese version. First of all, the book is beautiful from start to finish. The cover is white with a shading of pink into rose that I love. The words The Truth appear on the cover, as well as my name B.B. Holstein and of course the name of the publisher, XI’ An Jiaotong University Press. There is a picture of a notebook on the cover and the quotes from the Little Prince that I love, “All grownups were children first. (But few of them remember it.)” And then the second quote: “Grownups never understand anything by themselves, and it is exhausting for children to provide explanations over and over again.”

On the inside flap is my picture and a short bio and also a picture of Professor Chen who translated the book.

There is an introduction that I wrote specifically for China about how we live here. Also there are about 35 diary entries that are unique to this edition of the book. Most of them are about the ‘girl’s’ school life. Some are about other issues that come up in her life, such as when a cousin takes drugs and has to go away to a rehab. Over time I will share many of those entries.

What makes this edition so incredibly charming is the lay-out. Almost every page has a little picture that corresponds to what the girl is talking about on that page in her diary. If the picture doesn’t correspond than it is just some adorable, feminine picture that fits the whole atmosphere of the book. I am so impressed with the effort that went into the lay-out.

Can you feel my excitement? I am really enthralled and somewhat entranced by this book. Some how this edition takes me beyond myself. It speaks to me from a foreign land, and yet I wrote it! It acts as an ambassador of good will to another land and yet I created it! It has taken shape beyond what I was able to give it. It is like a child that one has nurtured and yet now speaks very much in its own voice with its own mission.

I am very happy to follow The Truth wherever it needs to be! And of course, I can’t wait for feedback from China. I hope some children and parents will write to me.

Barbara Becker Holstein At the Girl Scout meeting in Ocean Township

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Barbara Becker Holstein At the Girl Scout meeting in Ocean Township a couple of weeks ago, the girls and their mom’s really enjoyed dividing up into groups and discussing different topics generated by The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). I think they most enjoyed issues around moving and also family relationships. Here is what one girl said would most concern her about moving: 1. making new friends, 2. what I would have to leave behind, and 3. getting used to new things.

Welcome Changes Radio host Velma Gallant interviews exciting and dynamic guests such as New York Times best selling author, Neale Donald Walsch, Mike Dooley from “The Secret”, and Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein! Read what Dr. Barbara had to say about the show and listen to the show yourself!

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Being a radio guest of Velma Gallant, the Queen of Joy, was a true treat. She is a marvelous radio host, who knows how to elicit from her guest so much information. I felt like my expertise as a positive psychologist and as an educator was just pouring out of me as we chatted about my book,girl, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). It was a wonderful experience for me. I got to cover so many issues, including parenting, growing up and facing the storm of adolescence, the concept of resiliency and lots more. I even got to talk about about my first book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy.
I’m excited that you can listen to the podcast of our show together. Here is the link:http://recordings.talkshoe.com/TC-40777/TS-253960.mp3

Enjoy!

Why is The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) important reading for Girls and Their Moms?

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The Truth helps girls see that they are not alone, by being able to so easily identify with the ‘girl’ who is sharing her most personal feelings and thoughts with them directly, via diary form. If Mom also reads The Truth and shares more of her thoughts and feelings while also listening to her daughter’s ‘real’ voice, than a family correction will be made and indeed, the girl will be less alone

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“What a delightful book! The girl made me smile. I could relate to her on many levels- from her first crush to being picked last for sports. She”s not only funny, she”s insightful. Girls at any age could learn from her.”
~Allie Triggs

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The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is now in all major bookstores in China in an English/Chinese version. Here is the beautiful cover. The title in China is: How an American girl grows up.