Selfies Have Now Become An Art Form – Barbara Becker Holstein’s New Short Film ‘The Truth’ Sets The Example

Selfies Have Now Become An Art Form – Barbara Becker Holstein’s New Short Film ‘The Truth’ Sets The Example – http://bit.ly/2daw2FS

New Short Film, ‘The Truth, a Short Short Film’, Now An Official Selection for the Chain Film Festival in Manhattan, August 13th, 2016

New Short Film, ‘The Truth, a Short Short Film’, Now An Official Selection for the Chain Film Festival in Manhattan, August 13th, 2016 – http://bit.ly/2axpOBN

New Short Film, ‘The Truth’, By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Focuses On How Teens Communicate Their Deepest Needs, Fears And Relationship Issues

New Short Film, ‘The Truth’, By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Focuses On How Teens Communicate Their Deepest Needs, Fears And Relationship Issues – http://bit.ly/1UpAsWc

Top Books For Christmas – ‘The Truth’ and ‘Secrets’ By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Help Tweens and Teens Develop Healthy Approaches To Growing Up

Top Books For Christmas – ‘The Truth’ and ‘Secrets’ By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Help Tweens and Teens Develop Healthy Approaches To Growing Up – http://bit.ly/1mjGazn

New Short Film, ‘The Truth’, By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Addresses Social Media Use By Teens And Tweens

New Short Film, ‘The Truth’, By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Addresses Social Media Use By Teens And Tweens- http://bit.ly/1QsjJUX

Selfie Contest Now Open To Teens And Tweens To Celebrate Release Of ‘The Truth, Diary Of A Gutsy Tween’

Selfie Contest Now Open To Teens And Tweens To Celebrate Release Of ‘The Truth, Diary Of A Gutsy Tween’- http://ow.ly/zrC7m

‘Getting our Tweens and Teens’ Can We Do a Better Job in How We Communicate?

growingupOne thing I find over and over again is that Parents don’t seem to “get” their teens and tweens, and vice versa. There seems to be miscommunication going on. A teen or tween misbehaves and doesn’t understand why the parent is upset, while the parent doesn’t understand why their teen/tween can’t follow direction after being told several times. Often it’s not because the child in question wants to misbehave, and it’s not because the Parent is a ” bad” parent.

It’s the approach. We as Parents and caregivers need to take the negativity out of it when we talk to our children, even when disciplining. For example, try the sandwich method: First give some positive feedback: “I was so proud of you when you got that 100 on your spelling test a few weeks ago. Second give the bad news: If you can’t seem to find time to do your homework and your marks keep reflecting that, we will have to limit your time on playing video games. Now the rest of the sandwich: We really believe you can make better use of your time and get back on track to get good marks on your homework. If you need our help, just ask. We are here for you!

Here’s another of my thoughts on this:

It is so important to be a role model to your teen! It is not only what we say and how well we listen, but how we live our own lives. That means it does matter how gracious we are, how kind we are, whether we are generous of spirit and eager to not hold grudges or be petty. It does matter what we say, but often it matters just as much on how we say it. Can we cushion a criticism with some sweet honey? Can we wait until the right moment to say something personal when no one else is listening? It all matters!

Yes, all of the above does take practice. Learning to control our rage, our disappointment, our anger and instead finding ways to speak to our kids at the right moment, with supportive yet realistic reactions to their behaviors is almost an art form. But then again, helping a kid grow up successfully is like being a great artist. Every remark, every activity we do with them, every hug we give them are all the next tiny strokes in turning out a marvelous human being! Isn’t the time and effort worth it?

I Have a Secret to Share About Myself!

When I was in the third grade I couldn’t read and I was ashamed. I pretended to read by trying to memorize some pages in the reader. I sat in agony hoping the teacher didn’t call on me. Phonics just made no sense to me. I couldn’t understand what the teacher was trying to teach when she gave us different sounds that different letters made. I loved Miss Johnson, my teacher, but school was scary. Someday everyone would realize that I couldn’t really read past the first grade level!

But Miss Johnson was going to save me! And that is what you will find out now by listening to my video. She saw more than I realized and she knew how to turn a deficit into a talent!

And see, not only was I saved, but I ended up writing two easy to read books for girls and tweens, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) and Secrets: You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine…maybe, so that other kids could feel comfortable reading about growing up in a way that didn’t task their reading skills! There is enough in life to task all of us!

VALENTINE’S DAY CAN BE AWFUL OR WONDERFUL!

Sometimes as parents or teachers or grandmoms we forget the pain and suffering that go with certain milestones in growing up. One of those milestones is Valentine’s Day. In America we celebrate the day with fervor and make a lot out of it.

I remember in elementary school it was very important to me that my mother let me buy packages of Valentine’s for the whole class. Some years they were finished Valentine’s and some years I had to punch them out of the paper that held them. And some were more personal than others with cute sayings. I would have a method to my madness and of course my closest friends got the most pretty and personal cards. I supposed most of the kids had the same method. And there in lay the first potential trauma of that day. Would my best friend Lynne, send me one of her best?
I would only know once the Valentine Box had been opened and some lucky child was picked to be the first person to hand out Valentine’s. That was a treat also. Sometimes I was chosen, but often not. It only took 4 or 5 children to get them all passed out. I was only at peace that day when I opened my Valentine’s and felt remembered.

My video is here to remind all of us grown-ups that children have very deep and powerful feelings:

The Girl had a crush which even made her feelings more dramatic on Valentine’s Day. Not all girls and tweens have crushes. But still be sensitive to the fact that the girls in your life may take Valentine’s Day very seriously. Here are a couple of suggestions to weather the day:
1. Make sure you have remembered the girl(s) in your life in a way that she will feel very special.
2. Be sensitive to her feelings as the day approaches. Maybe share your own memories about the holiday.
3. Ask her if you can help her in any way. Maybe she would love to make cookies or fudge for her special friends and you can have some fun in the kitchen together!
4. Most of all, make sure she knows that she is Your Valentine!
~ © Barbara Becker Holstein .