For Teens In Trouble, Hope And Courage Are Offered In Dr Barbara Becker Holstein’s Award Winning Selfie Films, Books And Stage Play – http://bit.ly/2qmWoes
New Ebook, ‘A Selfie Film, Falling In Love’ By Positive Psychologist Barbara Becker Holstein Leads Creative Charge For Girls And Women Filmmakers – http://bit.ly/2gXldHn
The Self Esteem Challenges Women Face Today – New Ebook, ‘A Selfie Film, Falling In Love’ By Positive Psychologist Barbara Becker Holstein – http://bit.ly/2fIzj28
New Short Film ‘The Truth’ By Dr Barbara Becker Holstein Turns Selfie Concept Into Powerful Film To Reach Teens And Tweens – http://bit.ly/2bRRn8b
Top Books For Christmas – ‘The Truth’ and ‘Secrets’ By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Help Tweens and Teens Develop Healthy Approaches To Growing Up – http://bit.ly/1mjGazn
Possible Selfie During Joan Rivers Medical Procedure – Psychologist Barbara Becker Holstein Offers Insight – http://ow.ly/BFVnY
In Secrets: You Tell Me Yours and I’ll Tell You Mine, the girl really worries about getting older and how hard it will be to be a teen. She is very aware. Aren’t all of our girls? She is writing a lot of songs, a few of them appear in the book. In one of the songs she says:
“What is in store for me as I get older?
How can I leave behind so much of me?”
Yes, we do leave behind parts of ourselves at each transition in life. And of course, we get new aspects to ourselves. It is very hard to transition. If you have had to move as an adult, or started a new job, or maybe lived through a marriage that fell apart, you know how terribly hard transitions can be. However, sometimes we forget how hard it is to grow up. It is but a distant memory as we go through our busy days. Yet we need to remember and to find ways to help our kids transition.
Can you remember being a kid moving toward puberty, and the teen years? I am asking readers for input. Here is what one reader shared:
“When I was growing up I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. My parents were not ever happy and I was always fighting with my brother and sister. The cool kids in school made fun of me because I was little heavy and most of my clothes were made by my mother or grandmother. We didn’t have a lot of money, in fact I cannot ever remember a time growing up where my parents weren’t worried about how they would pay the bills and put food on the table.
I was thankful that they made my clothes (and in some varity of my favorite color – red) and I wore them proudly but the feelings of shame and confusion because of the kids at school put me in an emotional whirlwind. Sometimes I didn’t know if I was coming or going!
I was worried about it getting worse as I approached middle school and having older kids around that would probably push me about and make fun of me as well. I was scared to death of getting older and things getting worse. I just couldn’t see that life is what I make of it and if I’m not happy with something then I’m the only one who can change it. At that age you are more worried about what your friends think, what rumors are being spread, your school work, and trying to have a little peace and harmony at home then to look at how you can better your own situation and emotional chaos.
Then there was my little sister who got away with everything, blamed me for the things she actually gets in trouble for and who I had to share everything with. We shared a room, had bunk beds, and I never had my own play things. In fact I was stuck with my sister in the same room until I was 17 and my older brother moved out but that is a story for another day and a whole different set of problems.
Growing up is hard, but I think if we stay positive and teach our kids that if they think positive and work towards shaping their life to how they desire it to be instead of following the herd that they can be happy, even during the emotional roller coaster of puberty!”
What a moving story. Our reader overcame many obstacles. And the truth is that most of us do come through puberty and grow up with strong resources, some degree of optimism, humor, caring for others, the capacity to love and many other great traits. But it isn’t easy, and we owe it to our girls to help them through the process with wisdom and support. That’s what I do in my work as a positive psychologist. You may be doing it as a parent, aunt, teacher, guidance counselor, grandparent.
Try reading passages together with your youngster from either The Truth or Secrets. You will find it fascinating, as feelings and thoughts and memories start to be exchanged. This is one of the most therapeutic ways to make sure you have really ‘heard’ and understand your youngster and the bonus is she gets a better chance to ‘hear’ and understand YOU! It is a win, win for both.
The Truth: I’m a Girl, I’m Smart, and I Know Everything
(now available as an ebook or a paperback)
Be the first to get your copy of the second book in The Truth Series, called Secrets I’ll tell you Mine if you Tell me Yours…maybe, by going to Amazon Today
I thought you might like to read an excerpt from the second book in The Truth Series which is due out later this week on Amazon. As soon as I have a link to purchase the book for you I will send out an announcement. In this book, SECRETS: You tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine…Maybe! the girl is now 13. The family has moved and a whole series of events, dilemmas and occasions to experience the ups and downs of growing up are about to emerge. Here is how the book starts:
I can’t believe it. Today we moved and I feel like I’m in a dream. I just keep walking around our new house and wondering when we will go home. It feels so different and strange. The floors are all bare wood. Everything is on one floor. It’s called a ranch house, I don’t know why. My mother said our rugs would look terrible here so she let the people who bought our house keep them. I think she was right. They’re a dark maroon and the walls are a light cream in this house. I don’t think that would look good.
I went to the bathroom three times since we got here and every time I used a different bathroom. I can’t believe it. Three different toilets in the same house! Only my friend Susan, my rich friend, has more than two bathrooms. And now we do. I keep measuring the living room. Would you believe it’s 27 feet by 15 feet? I used my own feet and added a few inches each time I took a step.
When I look out of the windows I expect to see the shrubs and the Hudson house to my left and I don’t. Instead I see a big open field that will probably have houses on it by next year. That’s what my father said. And when I look out to the right I expect to see our clothesline and the Dixon’s driveway. Instead I see rose bushes and a wooden bench, under a tree, that the last owners said we could have.
We had to eat supper off paper plates and use wooden throw-away forks, knives and spoons because our boxes are still packed. My aunt made us a big picnic hamper of food and that’s what we ate for supper.
My brother already started to play with a kid next door who’s about a year older than he is. He’s so lucky. I have no one yet and that’s the truth!
Can you feel for the girl as she is suddenly in new surroundings?
Did you ever move growing up?
Do you remember how you felt?
What do you think she wants most to happen and soon? Hint: Look at the last paragraph.
What are some of the things you think might happen to her this year?
Please write to me on www.thetruthforgirls.com or at firstname.lastname@example.org