Seven Gateways to Happiness For Girls
How Do We Help Our Girls Walk Through the Gateways to Happiness?
There are Seven Gateways to Happiness that we all need to walk through, in fact, we must walk through them again and again to attain true happiness. Why? Because although each is different, they all hang together. We can’t be complete without success in all seven. I’ve talked at great length about how as women, we best walk through these Gateways. In fact, you can download for free, off of the front page of www.enchantedself.com a paper that will take you through the Seven Gateways to Happiness. But what if you are a girl? Is it exactly the same? No it is not. Kids are different from grown-ups and so is the journey to happiness. Are parents essential in helping their kids walk through the Seven Gateways to Happiness? You bet! You are critical. So let’s take a look.
The first Gateway to Happiness is Recognizing the Best in Ourselves. Having good self-esteem is another way to put it. How can we help our kids recognize the best in themselves? Certainly not by criticizing them, nor putting them down, nor by talking about embarrassing things in front of other people. Certainly not by showing disappointment in their achievements, or evaluating them in comparison to other siblings or friends. To help kids, and in particular, girls, get through the first Gateway to Happiness we need to encourage their talents, their strengths, their coping skills and their potential. Sounds easy? Sometimes it is. But sometimes it is hard. What I would like to see as a strength in my child, may be what she is weak at.
So we need to learn how to discuss and communicate effectively with our daughters. For instance, I would like my daughter to be social and comfortable with people. She may be instead somewhat of a loner, who’s strength is a feel for nature and all that is in it. She collects rocks, she feeds birds, she studies spider’s webs. Bottom line is she is different from my expectations. Most kids are. But the responsibility of a parent is to love and develop your child to the best of her abilities anyway. So to the best of my abilities I need to let her know that I treasure and value her strengths and yes, that I am also very proud of her when she combines those strengths in ways that develop her weaker side-in this case, her social side. I’m proud because I love her, I respect her differences and yet as a parent I know it will be better for her if she develops many facets of her personality.
When you read, The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) you may begin to recognize how I have woven the Seven Gateways to Happiness into the story. Of course, as even the ‘girl’ in the book needs to walk through all seven to achieve happiness.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein with a parent at St. Rose Elementary School in Belmar, New Jersey. Dr. Holstein talked on the Seven Gateways to Happiness and how children can be helped to walk successfully through each Gateway.
Seven Gateways to a Girl’s Success
Self Esteem: Every child, tween and teen needs to feel good herself and proud of her strengths, talents and potential.
The Stories of our Lives: Children, just as we do, need to have a sense of meaning and purpose in their daily lives.
Learning to Meet Our Needs: Success is dependent on tools. We need to help our children get the tools they need.
Happiness: Happiness is an essential ingredient to mental and physical health. Our children need our support and wisdom to flourish.
Education: Individual needs and learning styles must be understood and responded to appropriately by schools and parents for children to reach their potential.
Community Involvement: Coping styles are learned as we grow and one of the healthiest ways to help children learn to help themselves is to teach them how to be involved in positive ways in the community.
Positive Actions: Help a child learn how to direct her energies toward doing what is right, both personally and for others and you will have someday a healthy and happy adult who is a credit to society
Anatomy of “The Truth”
Doctors Brian and Giuseppe talk to Doctor Barbara Becker Holstein about her recent book: “The Truth: I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything.” Dr. Barbara’s approach as a positive psychologist is also discussed.
Click on the arrow to listen to the interview:
| TESTIMONIAL: “My daughter April and I went to our book club meeting last night. The book we were discussing is called The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). The author, Dr. Barbara Holstein, was there. What a fabulous woman! She is so positive and engaging. The moms and daughters hung on her every word. She has such a gentle and eloquent way of expressing her thoughts and insights to the girls (and the moms). She was so enlightening. I am really looking forward to Dr. Holstein’s next book and certainly to hearing her speak again. What a pleasure!” ~ Donna Ruggiero |
