Simple But Profound-The Truth, I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything. What do you think?

5.0 out of 5 stars THE TRUTH, Simple but Profound, April 7, 2008
By M. Pollard (New Jersey) – See all my reviews

THE TRUTH, is simple and yet profound. The diary of a girl’s most personal thoughts is a compelling perspective on intimate childhood feelings with an intelligent resolve to the challenges of growing up. This delightful manner of story-telling exudes youthful innocence, yet timeless wisdom. It is within the context of this constant flux, that we can find relevance to our own self-awareness as adults. Intended for nine to twelve year olds but appropriate for all generations; THE TRUTH allows us to renew those youthful ideals as we reflect on our “girls” heartfelt experiences. THE TRUTH offers an opportunity to connect to our daughters and granddaughters in an open and honest dialogue, and permission to have fun.

I thought you would enjoy seeing what another reader had to say about The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything).  I hope soon you will be sharing your thoughts and ideas.  And kids, tweens and teens, I really want to hear from you!  Free Truth necklace to any person under 21 who takes the time to read the book, and write a review.  Just be in touch with me at www.enchantedself.com or encself@aol.com 

Purity of Heart is Very Important

22aThe Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) has so many topics imbedded into it for mothers and daughters and anyone who has walked the path of growing up as a girl that I hardly know which to pick. But since I must pick-let me pick purity of heart.

Purity of heart is in my opinion as a woman, a positive psychologist and having been a girl, a special vision that we often have in childhood. It is not just seeing with our eyes. It is a sixth sense combined with tender feelings and acute awareness of our surroundings. For example, when Laura Ingalls describes to us the way she ran through the prairie grass and looked up into the sky to follow hawks and looked at the stars at night while her father played the fiddle, her words evoke a purity of heart sensation in even adults.

She was able as a writer to create the whole atmosphere of her life on the prairie so that we feel something new and fresh and yet eternal as we read The Little House on the Prairie. In The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) I have tried to capture the same sense of purity of heart.

When the ‘girl’ is upset when her cousin swears it isn’t because she is making a moral judgment. It is because the swear words just feel bad as they hit her across the room. And when she dances with her mother up in the bedroom to rock and roll music, the relief of connecting with her mom and the pleasure of moving, laughing and hugging together is all there is. This is the moment and it is pure.

Purity of heart is a clean feeling and when we have purity of heart moments we can feel cleansed and delighted at the same time. Or if they are upsetting moments, as when the ‘girl’s’ cousin swore at least she knew he was not right and there was some relief just in the expression of her emotions.

I wanted to incorporate purity of heart into The Truth as we at all ages need to remember the intense pure feelings of childhood, both for ourselves and for the next generation. We need to remember them for ourselves so we can go there once again and experience the sweetness and passion that goes with really being alive, not just sleepwalking as sometimes we do as grown-ups.

And for the next generation’s sake we need to remember because we need to connect with our children and grandchildren and we need to reassure them and help validate for them that their emotions are not only pure but often more in tune with what is right that we are. Aging is not necessarily becoming emotionally more astute. Aging can sometimes just be aging.

The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) has many themes and one of them is most certainly don’t sleepwalk. Stay alive as you age and let the kids you know refresh you as well as the kid you were. After all, she is still inside of you! I promise and that’s the truth!

Children Are So Precious and See With a Purity We Have Lost

3aI saw a sign that summed up some of my feelings about children.  It said, “There are many earth angels in the form of children.”  How true.  In so many ways Our children are our witnesses to ourselves.  They help us see if we let them, what is right and what is wrong.  What is worth remembering and what is trivial.  They know what is a waste of time and what is worthwhile.  They know when we lie and when we try to get away with things.  Let’s celebrate our children and let them help return to the essence of what is best and most rejoicing about ourselves.  After all, we were all children also.

I wrote the above a couple of years ago but it is just as true today.  The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is my book that as a teacher, school psychologist, positive psychologist, women, and once a kid, I have published since the above remarks.  Now I can say with pleasure, that the ‘girl’ in the book, even better than I was able to say it, gives us the above message.  I’m proud of her.  She has wisdom and depth even beyond mine.  I guess I’m a proud ‘parent’.

I’m Impressed: Sondra Clark, 77Creative Ways Kids Can Serve

Last Friday, March 14, 2008 I had the pleasure of interviewing 18 year old Sondra Clark on my radio show, Kids, Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three. This show is archived on www.internetvoicesradio.com Sondra has been writing books since she was 8. That alone, would make her exceptional. However, what is even more fascinating is that so much of her work is the kind of outreach work that people three times her age are involved in. She volunteers and she teaches other kids how to find ways to volunteer and to be good citizens. For example, take a look at her new book, 77 Creative Ways Kids can Serve. Her ideas are wonderful. How about “Preparing Birthday Bags for Kids in Shelters”? It is a great idea. Or “Promote Senior Computer Skills”? Another great idea as kids know so much more than we do about computers.

It was my pleasure to interview her and learn more of her upbringing, adventures, plans and ideas. I hope you will listen to the show and get to know Sondra, also. She is a special young woman.

The Harder I Work, The Luckier I Get!

10aThe Harder I Work, The Luckier I Get!  I think there is a lot of wisdom in that phrase.  Wisdom that we should be passing on to kids, tweens and teens.  As a positive psychologist, and author of The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m ten and I know everything) I know only too well that lots of people suffer in life because they haven’t learned and practiced the skills they need to succeed.  It is great to have a dream. But it is even better to be developing the skills that can make the dream come true.  You know how they say it looks so easy to be a ballet dancer, or concert pianist.  Well, we also all know how deceiving looks can be.  Have you ever tried to stand on your toes?  Or played the piano without lessons?  It is very hard.

So be a good mentor to someone else or yourself.  Get the right information to succeed in whatever you are doing or encouraging someone else to do.  See what education, training, mentoring, advice, skills, tools, etc. are involved and help either your dreams or someone else’s dreams come true.  And guess what?  You will have good luck!

Crushes, We all have had them

20aAs most of my readers know, I’m a positive psychologist.  I’m fascinated with lots of the universal struggles that most of us seem to go through.  One that I find repeated again and again is the secret crush that tweens and teens often have.  Almost everyone has been there and it can be very exciting but also very painful.  Whenever I do a workshop women in the audience always have their stories to tell about early crushes and the fun, adventures and sometimes misadventures that happened. In my new book, The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) the girl is very involved in her head and her heart with her crush.  It is much more major than her mother wants it to be and it takes over a lot of her inner life.  The girl can hardly concentrate on her school work when she thinks about Paul and she can’t imagine growing up and not marrying him.  One of the themes in this book is how the girl finally comes to terms with her crush, as she must.  Have you had an early crush? Can you share the story about your early crush? Are there other books out there that have a main character that is a tween or young teen with a crush?  What are they and did you enjoy the book? Let’s chat about this subject.

Two and One Half Men may be funny but what is the show saying about schools and tweens?

13bTonight, Monday evening, I happened to catch some of Two and One Half Men on CBS.  It is a modern day comedy-a far cry from I Love Lucy that I so loved to watch on Monday nights at 9:00 PM so many years ago.  That show had an innocense that Two and One Half Men lacks.  However, it is a different era.  And that’s what made tonight’s show so poignant, in terms of being a tween.  The youngster, who is the son of one of the characters and the nephew of the other is going to Junior High or Middle School-I didn’t catch which.  So the men are taking him shopping.  They make him buy old people’s looking sneakers so no one will try to beat him up and steal his sneakers.  They make him buy beige pants because no gang members wear beige.  By the time they put him on the school bus he looks scared to death.  As they walk away, one of the men remarks, “We’ve done all we could do, now it’s up to him.”

And I suppose that is true.  We have done or not done what we can and now our tweens are out in our society, sometimes scared to death, exposed to pressures and worries that we would never have dreamed of as children.  This is not good for them.  Kids are still developing emotionally and physically.  Having the pressures on them that someone might beat them up for their sneakers or simply beat them up because the other guy is in a gang is frightening.

Even though the ‘girl’ in my new book, The Truth, I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything, lives in a simpler time, she gives parents and tweens a great chance to talk about so many ’scary’ and complicated subjects.  She is also worried about transitioning, just like the boy in the show.  She also wants friends and to fit in. Sometimes it is easier to talk about important subjects when we simplify the setting.  That’s what I did in this book.  The Truth gives us direct access to look at all the issues surrounding growing up.  And we should!  Our tweens deserve it!

A Fourteen year old boy in Pasadena agrees with the ‘girl’ in The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) And the truth is it is not nice to swear

Gosh darn! Cussing banned in California town-taken from CNN news

18aSouth Pasadena declares first week of March as No Cussing Week

Mayor hopes proclamation will “elevate the level of discourse”

Anti-swearing drive started with teen who founded high school’s No Cussing Club

This news is so exciting.  As a positive psychologist, a school psychologist, a mom and a grandma, I’m thrilled to read about a 14 year old boy having the courage and conviction to come out loud and clear that cussing is not necessary, not nice and we can handle ourselves in more refined ways!  Congratulationgs to him.  I was tickled to see this special week happening in California.  In my new book, The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) the girl is very upset when a cousin comes to visit who swears all the time.  She knows it isn’t nice and it doesn’t feel good to listen to the language.  How is it that so many of us Americans have forgotten when children know to be true?  I hope we can all practice no cussing days, everyday!

Bullying increases risk of depression and more

bulliedI heard on ABC Now News today that bullying can increase the risk of depression and even suicide.  These are serious findings. For more information fo to www.abc.com and go to the on call section. Every day, in every way possible we need to help kids, teens and tweens to not be bullied.  We also need to help the bully so he or she doesn’t have the rage or hurt inside to be a bully.  We have a big task but we can do it.

Here are some pointers: 1.  In your family life don’t make fun of each other or bully.  Remember that kids model what they see!

17a2.  If you child talked about a bully in school or the neighborhood LISTEN and stay alert.  If you see any changes in your child, even small ones like leaving the dinner table early, talk to her and see what is going on.

3.  Remember you are the grown-up and take responsibility if necessary.  If you think you had better speak to a teacher, guidance counselor or principal about your child being bullied or your child showing some traits as a bully, do it!

Tweens will always give us wild rides but as parents we can handle it!

16ahttp://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/tweens/

Jan Singer wrote a wonderful blog entry today on her tween son who give her a ‘wild ride’ as most tweens do.  Here is my response:

I’ve been a psychologist in private practice for over 25 years and a school psychologist.  I don’t have a tween boy, but soon I’ll have a grandson getting near 8-12.  But may I comment on Jen’s little story about her tween son?  It is a wonderful example of how we will think we are ‘getting’ it about our tween and then suddenly there is a whole twist that we missed.  The good news is that Jen and her family handled her son in a positive way.  And that is the bottom line emotionally.  When I wrote, The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) the girl is 10 also.

And she also is having thoughts, feelings and insights totally unique to her that the family is missing.  I made sure that she did as a character because since this is a mother-kid book I wanted there to be a lot of room for discussion and mutual understanding. For example, Jen’s post raises questions such as: How do we treat our tweens even if we don’t understand them?  What do we react to?  What do we let go? When do we permit ourselves to have a secret chuckle over what our kid did or said?  When do we shed a secret tear and then try to get in there with a different approach?  Yes, it is an endless array of moments, insights, realizations and reactions when there is a tween in the house-be it a boy or girl.  Hurray for Jen and her son-they are just doing fine and he will probably grow up loving music and who knows, be a great composer!