One of my dreams for The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

It is my dream to have girls and moms across the country reading The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) and then having discussions about the different topice brought up. As a positive psychologist, I believe it is a win-win for both moms and daughters to talk about growing up, staying true to oneself, gossip, families having issues, jealousies, crushes on boys, developing, anxieties about moving, etc. These subjects never go out of date and we can always learn more about ourselves, our kids, and the subjects themselves by having the courage to process them. What a pleasure to be able to experience the happiness that comes from helping the next generation hold on to their power, potential and wisdom!

She Didn’t Have a Name!

Today on the TODAY SHOW a young woman was interviewed in China. She works in finances and is doing very well, living in Beljing. However, her grandmother grew up in a farming area, was forced to have her feet bound at age 10 and was never given a name, except the name of her town. The differences in generations is amazing. The gal interviewed is a college graduate. Her grandmother never went to school.

In my new book, The Truth (I”m a girl, I”m smart and I know everything) the girl also does not have a name. Why? For very different reasons. She doesn”t so that every girl, tween, teen and woman who reads the book can identify with her. She is not nothing. She is everything. She is all of of us. She incorporates in her the universal dreams, energy and wisdom of us girls and women. So not having a name can mean very different things. The girl in the book would be horrified to hear that at her age of 10, this grandma had to have her feet bound. She would be furious.

Be thankful for freedom. It is a gift to be treasured!

The Enchanted Self, Wisdom Secrets and Nancy Drew.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein discusses The Enchanted Self, more on Wisdom Secrets and Nancy Drew. Here guest is Martha Trowbridge, Inspirational Writer for Women.

This week I”m eager to share with you a radio show on Wisdom Secrets For Women and Girls that we know as adult women that we really learned originally in girlhood. Martha Trowbridge, inspirational writer for women, is my co-host. We discuss how to use our wisdom as women and how to reinforce that wisdom in our girls. We use Nancy Drew as a powerful wisdom role model. This is a great show that is sure light a fire in you and your daughters and remind all of us that WE HAVE THE POWER AND THE WISDOM

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Author helps teens, moms connect

Hour Staff Writer

As a young girl, does your life seem complicated? As a parent, does your daughter and her adolescent issues seem confusing and incomprehencible?

Well wonder no more, because Norwalk native, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein has written a new book to help struggling pre-teens and their non-understanding parents. “The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart, and I know everything),” is a fiction diary written by Holstein through the eyes of an 8- to 10-year-old girl.

“I became aware that children and moms need a way to build self esteem. I wanted something that could catch the heart and spirit of girls and maybe their moms too,” explained Holstein.

Holstein had done extensive research before writing this book, which was released in February, and believes people might actually be surprised by the amount of depth in the story. The book touches on self esteem, crushes, school bullies, inside struggles and the development and growth of young teens.

“We need to find ways that people are affected by what they read. A fictional diary can be very moving. In order to make change in our lives we have to be moved, not just convinced,” explained Holstein.

Holstein said she hopes that just as many parents read the book as do young girls. She said she believes it is important for parents to remember how crucial the pre-teen years can be. At the end of the book, a list of questions is given. Holstein hopes that parents and their children can tackle these questions together.

“I hope it will boost a girl or teen. For the mothers, I hope it will help her see how her daughter of child is feeling inside,” she said.

Holstein is a licensed positive phycologist in New Jersey and Massachusetts. She has held her private practices for more than 25 years. Holstein also worked as a school psychologist, a teacher and a case study researcher.

She has written five other books: “The Truth, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything,” “Delight!” “The Enchanted Self,” “Recipes For Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is You!,” and “Feel Good Stories.”

She is the daughter of Dr. Harry A. Becker, a past superintendent of the schools in Norwalk. While he was in office, Becker made various positive changes to the Norwalk School System. According to Holstein, he also founded Norwalk Community College.

Those who have read and enjoyed Holsteins book, may not have to wait long for the next one to appear. This book is just the first in a series.

“I’m almost done with the next book. Now she’ll be 10-12. The next will be 12-14,” she said.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein will have a book signing at 3 p.m. today at Borders in Stamford, at 3 p.m. today at Borders, 1041 High Ridge Road, Stamford. For more information, call 968-9700.

Kids, Tweens and Teens with Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein interviewed Venessa Van Patten, author of Your Grounded!

In this week”s podcast I interview Venessa Van Patten, who is the author of Your Grounded!  She is a remarkable young woman who has actually done research on the thoughts, actions and feelings of teen-agers.  Listen to the inside scoop!  We discuss her research, her growing up her book and of course The Truth (I”m a girl, I”m smart and I know everything).  This is a great show.

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Staying True to the Promises We Make In Childhood

One of the themes in The Truth (I”m a girl, I”m smart and I know everything) is staying true to our childhood promises. Here is what one reviewer had to say:

28a“This book is worth reading if you’ve found yourself wondering if you always wanted to be such a career woman or a stay at home mom. It provides a unique perspective most of us have long forgotten about. I found myself often wondering if I stayed true to the promises I made to myself growing up and if I have so far become the woman I wanted to be.

I’m eagerly awaiting the release of the second book and am wondering what adventures and truths will find as she grows into a teenager.”

I can tell you that there are a lot of adventures and truths and secrets already in the second book. Yes, it is almost finished. So stay posted! We will watch the girl grow up and it will be quite a ride! Dr. Barbara

This review appears on on my author”s page.

Welcome to our weekly podcast on Kids,Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three.  Today’s podcast introduces you to the Seven Gateways to Happiness and how they pertain to girls, particularly girls as they are in the tween years of 8-12.  Martha Trowbridge, my colleague and a national expert and author on inspiration for women, chats with me about these Gateways. 


Thanks,  Barbara

Can You Handle the ‘Truth’? | The Jewish Exponent

27aExperts confirm what the majority of people know: Truth comes in a number of forms and reveals itself in myriad ways, and that it’s often relative, depending on the needs and expectations of the seeker.

Now, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, based in Long Branch, N.J., and a nationally known positive psychologist — an officially recognized branch of psychology that centers on what’s right with people — examines what truth is as young girls see it, in her new book, titled The Truth: I’m a Girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything, the first in what is expected to be a series.

The book, which contains a “bit of mystery” because girls love that, noted Holstein, is the fictitious account of a young girl who keeps a secret diary in which she writes about the thoughts, ideas, people and events that shape and forge the truth for her.

In the process, it establishes a forum for discussion with parents and peers.

Through the eyes and feelings of the girl, Holstein comments professionally about truth’s particular impact on females aged 8, 9 and 10 years old — and beyond. It also focuses on its meaning in connection with interaction with the adults in their lives — mothers, grandmothers, fathers, teachers and others.

In the introduction to the book, Holstein, reflecting on her own days as a young girl, wrote: “One day I decided to find a way to combine what I already knew as a girl with the knowledge I have as a classroom teacher, case-study researcher, school psychologist, and a psychologist in private practice, in Long Branch, for nearly 30 years. I had to find a fun way to do this that would really help girls and mothers recognize that what we know growing up is just as important as what we learn later.”

“One day the ‘girl’ just appeared. She knew what to say and how to say it. She did a much better job of sharing the truth than I ever could have imagined. So I just let her go for it. I used a child’s voice because children understand things in a special way. In the end, the young girl will become a young woman and will keep the best of herself.”

There are 12 to 15 serious topics embedded in the book that offer young girls and their parents the opportunity to discuss the subjects. Girls throughout the world, explained Holstein, experience similar aspects of growing up, with crushes, family and sibling friction, and being bullied at school just a few of the categories that bewilder children and cause them to feel alone.

And Then There’s the Internet
When the influence of the Internet is thrown into the mix, unavoidable and continual situations for concern arise, leaving parents unsure of how to handle these challenging aspects of a young girl’s life, said Holstein.

Here’s an excerpt from The Truth: “What is wrong with human beings? I had to read The Diary of Anne Frank in Sunday school and again I felt so horrible. She died only a few years older than I am. And she loved life so much. How can it be? … ”

At the back of the book, readers will find 25 discussion questions for youngsters.

Why did Holstein write The Truth? “I wrote it because after having worked on women’s issues for years, I came to the conclusion that women at every stage of life need to find ways to build self-esteem and self-worth.

“Every girl wants a mother who listens and is aware of her behavior, especially during the tween years. Family is fun, and tweens want to feel special in their families. The Truth gives girls 8 to 14 years old the knowledge that they are not alone, while it reminds mothers what it was like to be this age,” explained Holstein.

Among her hopes for the book — which ranks second in parenting tweens book topics on — she said, is to see it in school libraries, adding that “my other dream would be to see it turned into a musical.”

THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) in the top 100

The Best You Can Be Foundation names YA book by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein as one of the best

July 7, 2008, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. – After an evaluation by a panel of teachers, therapists, and children, THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein has been selected as one of the top 100 books of the year. The Best You Can Be Foundation feels THE TRUTH encompasses helping girls, ages 8 – 14, feel validated and understood.11a

The Best You Can Be Award program honors products that can truly make a difference in the lives of children, parents or teachers. This award program is designed to celebrate motivational products and recommend these products to the public, our readers and our clients.

Author Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self, a focus on positive psychology. She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts for over 25 years.

Founder of The Best You Can Be Foundation and syndicated parenting columnist for United Press International, Debbie Milam highly recommends The Truth. “My 10 year old daughter could not put the book down. She savored each page with excitement that someone had put her feelings into writing,” Milam said. “After reading the book she was so inspired by it that she is now writing her own book.”

THE TRUTH is filled with wisdom that is not only life changing for girls, but truths every parent could also begin integrating into their own lives. These truths can help us connect not only with our own children, but also with our beautiful inner child.

The magic of the human spirit, with its capacity for survival, growth and joy, has always intrigued Dr. Barbara. As years went by and her practice grew, she longed to explore adult development even further – specifically how to overcome adversity and bring pleasure into one’s life while living a life worth living. A life that is a good life, filled with happiness, meaning and purpose has become the focus of Dr. Holstein’s books, articles, seminars, radio shows, television shows, newsletters, etc. Her methods of improving ourselves so we have more positive emotions and thoughts are easy to understand and move us toward mental wellness and a deeper appreciation of ourselves and our potential.

Dr. Barbara speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey.  Her inspiring audio shows and podcasts links can be found here.  Her articles and stories appear on the web on hundreds of sites. She also gives lectures, seminars, and tele-classes on happiness.

To purchase The Truth or any of Dr. Barbara’s books or other resources visit her online at, or for more information please contact publicist Michelle Blackley at or 917/916-3030.

The Best You Can Be 501C3 Foundation is dedicated to supporting parents and teachers to inspire children to reach their highest potential. Through teacher in-service training, parenting resources, children’s motivational programming and curriculum development, our goal is to create system where every child can find peace within themselves, develop meaningful relationships, contribute to the greater good in their community, work through stress, and be motivated to reach their highest potential. For more information on this award program