Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist, talks about how she recognized the extreme importance of Girlhood in terms of Women’s Development

Let’s look at the end of the poem from page 169, from my first book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy: “Come my friend, my nurturer, my shadow, my knowledge of how whole I can be.” Who is that friend? Who is that nurturer? Who is that shadow? Many years of practicing as a psychologist, have convinced me that, that nurturer, that shadow is our earlier selves. Often it is that self which existed inside ourselves between the ages of 8 and 12. We know that for many girls, 8-12 is a period of soaring, when girls feel competent and so sure of themselves.

If you know girls that age, you know how talented they are. They can and do everything. They also often have special private times, keeping diaries, or sharing intimate thoughts with best girlfriends. However, the teenage years do not always encourage or keep girls thriving emotionally and intellectually. The social and hormonal pressures of growing up block the earlier talents and potential. Adolescent years can be very hard on girls and many a woman finds herself no longer in touch with her earlier talents, strengths, potential or what makes her happy.

I began to realize that my next psychological assignment was to bring the girl inside of ourselves back to life.

I began to develop a companionship with the 10 year old inside myself. I began to realize that as an adult woman that I was disappointing her. I was not as confident or daring as I had promised myself I would be. Some of my poor decisions had restricted and limited the scope of my potential and opportunities. The girl I had been had known that the world could be her oyster. She wasn’t much afraid of anything and also had a lot of inner wisdom. She was resilient and determined. She had faith in me-the adult she would become someday.

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