School Shootings, Lockdowns, Body Shaming, Bullying: Award Winning Selfie Filmmaker, Positive Psychologist, Podcaster Barbara Becker Holstein Helps Teen Girls Overcome Anxiety, Alienation Through Selfie Films

School Shootings, Lockdowns, Body Shaming, Bullying: Award Winning Selfie Filmmaker, Positive Psychologist, Podcaster Barbara Becker Holstein Helps Teen Girls Overcome Anxiety, Alienation Through Selfie Films –

School Shootings, Lockdowns, Body Shaming And Bullying: Positive Psychologist Barbara Becker Holstein Offers Tools That Help Young People Deal With Anxiety

School Shootings, Lockdowns, Body Shaming And Bullying: Positive Psychologist Barbara Becker Holstein Offers Tools That Help Young People Deal With Anxiety –

The Truth

‘The Locket’, a play based on The Truth and Secrets and More!

The Locket by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

A magical, complex one act play in which a woman frustrated and hurt by a serious argument with her husband, is led back to her own strength and coping skills by discovering her childhood diary and the locket hidden inside of it. Magic happens when the girl, her own self from childhood appears to share wisdom and sorrows with her. They are also visited by an Enchanted Person and an invisible character, know as Self, to further assist them in understanding how to recover from emotional wounds and disappointments. Bits of magic and psychological wisdom happen to the very last line. Anyone who has had a fight with a spouse or family member, or is old enough to know that family life is not simple and that even being 10 or 11 can be filled with angst will enjoy this play.

‘The Locket’ will be played at The Grange Playhouse at 4860 Rt. 9, South Howell, NJ on March 11, 12, 13, 18, 19 and 20. Tickets are $18 regular admission, $15 for seniors and students and are available by phone at 732-768-2709. Showtimes are 8pm Fridays and Saturdays, 3pm on Sundays. Megan Brown plays the Girl. Karen Bowden plays the Woman the Girl becomes. Gabriella Scerbo plays the Enchanted Person and Fred Weintraub plays the Woman’s husband.

My Writing Process Blog Tour

First of all, a big thank you to Joanne Yelenik for inviting me to participate in the tour. Joanne is the author of “Eucalyptus Leaves: A Never to be Imagined Friendship in Israel.” The novel unfolds the events and developing relationship between a young man and an older, sophisticated woman over a two year period as they settle into their new-old, much loved homeland, Israel. You can find Joanne at her blog:

The way this blog tour works is that we each answer the same four questions about our writing process. So here goes:TheTruth

  • 1) What am I working on?

Right now I am ‘recovering’ from many projects over the last several years. In the past three years I wrote my first adult romance, mystery novel: Next Year in Jerusalem! now renamed Around Every Corner Romance & Mystery… I also revised my book The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) and sent it off to be published July 1, 2014 by Sky Pony Press. The new title is The Truth, Diary of A Gutsy Tween. Also in the past year, I have written two different versions of a play titled The Locket, which is based on The Truth. The play has been performed as a work in progress twice in Asbury Park.

Can you see that I may need some time to just chill out? And I am trying to take it each and every beautiful day that we have at the Jersey Shore. Oh, but I can’t rest too much. Secrets: You Tell Me Yours and I’ll Tell You Mine… maybe, the second book in The Truth series, in which the girl is a year older, but not necessary a year wiser, is due at Sky Pony Press very shortly. I’ve already started revising it. Tomorrow, let’s see….what is the weather forecast? I guess that will determine what gets done on Secrets.

  • 2) How does my work differ from others of its genre?

This is such an interesting question. Of course there are other diary books out for girls and tweens and even boys. But the difference between mine and say a series like Diary of a Wimpy Kid, is that The Truth, Diary of a Gutsy Tween, has been written by a positive psychologist (that’s me!) and every page is designed to encourage positive thinking, resiliency, positive self-regard, hopefulness, optimism, a recognition and valuing of one’s talents, strengths and potential, and much more. Every page can be used as a separate guidance lesson if one wished to. At the same time, the book is a page turner in its own right and kids enjoy the quick, easy read as they would any other really good fiction.

  • 3) Why do I write what I do?

I write what I do because I am passionate about building kids up and helping their parents, teachers, grandparents, etc. better understand what kids feel and think. This is my life work and to find a way to weave it into drama has been an added gift!

  • 4) How does my writing process work?

openbookteaEach book has a different process. The Truth, Diary of a Gutsy Tween, began as a book designed for adult women. The very first draft was based on a girl, actually the girl inside the woman talking to her, sharing with the woman how to live a more fulfilling life. The girl’s wisdom was adorable and amazing and based on one of my other important psychological concepts, The Seven Gateways to Happiness. However, the book itself never found the light of day. Eventually, I decided that the girl could just talk for herself and it would make a better read. Basically, I banished the woman. I’ve let her come back to life in other ways. For example, the characters in Around Every Corner have some of her attributes. Once the woman left the book, I decided a diary format was the easiest way to get the girl to speak to strangers. The diary format has been a hit. There have been several versions and now I’m so excited to be presenting the longest and deepest version to the world, July 1! This has been an amazing journey for the girl and for me! I hope you read The Truth, Diary of a Gutsy Tween and write to me at

And now I am going to pass the baton to our next blog tour author who you will find at: Here is a little about Mona: MONA BERMAN was born, bred and lived in Johannesburg until 2010 when she made Aliya to Israel. She has four degrees, four daughters, many grandchildren and now great-grandchildren in Israel. Her writing life began in earnest with the publication of a work of non-fiction Silence in the Fiction of Elie Wiesel (2001), two works of fiction, E-mail from a Jewish Mother (2002) and E-mail from a Jewish Grandmother (2008), a memoirRemembering Irma – Irma Stern: A Memoir with Letters (2003) and Serendipity in my Seventies (2012).book

We all hope you are enjoying moving from one blog to another and learning more about how each of us create our written works!

How To Deal With Tweens And Teens And Romantic Relationships

When it comes to our teens and tweens, there comes a time that nearly every parent dreads. Dating. As our kids get older and begin to grow into themselves, the kinds of relationships they create grow and change with them. They start noticing others in a special kind of way. It’s a critical moment in their lives, and as parents, we need to make sure to be there to guide and comfort them through these times.teenromance

While our kids begin to branch out, its our job to set a good example for them. We can do this with our own relationships. An unhealthy relationship between parents can confuse a child emotionally. The child can find themselves in a relationship that is abusive and be unaware of it because that was the ‘norm‘ in their home. It is not to say that a child from divorced parents or single parents will be destined for failure. A single parent can set a good example using healthy, responsible dating, and divorced parents can set an example by not involving the children in their ‘dirty laundry‘. When they say “children date their parents“, it is absolutely true. Without a doubt, our relationships are the most important aspect that influences our teens and tweens.

With that being said, we also need to watch our teens and tweens for signs of an abusive relationship and help them through any trouble they might be in. We can do this by being understanding of our teens and tweens feelings, listening, sharing helpful advice, and taking appropriate action on ways of getting out of that situation.

As our teens and tweens begin to date, it’s natural for us to want to be involved in every aspect of their lives. This can be difficult and frustrating for us because of many reasons. We may disapprove of their love interest or actions. We may want to give advice and over involve ourselves. This might be off-putting to our teens and tweens because they may not understand why or even want our help.

We need to be open and able to talk to our children about our feelings and what is healthy and what is unhealthy. We need to set clear, concise ground rules about their relationships and what is appropriate for dating. We also need to respect our childrens privacy when it comes to their love life when they ask for it, as long as no one is getting hurt. Finally, as hard as this one may be, we need to allow our children to experience the love and heartache that comes along with a romantic relationship. As much as we feel the need to save them from making mistakes and protect them from every kind of pain that is out there, as parents, we must understand that this is crucial for them to be able to grow into successful adults.

We will talk more about this subject as it is so critical. Meanwhile, maybe share with your kids some of your own memories of your first crush, first date, etc. and help them see that you are real. You have been there! That way they will feel more courageous to open up to you. You may even have fun and a good laugh, sharing these special moments of life that all of us have gone through!

Puberty – An Emotional Ride For Us All

pubertyOften enough, puberty is an awkward time for both girls and boys. Hormones are raging, sending us on an emotional roller coaster. Hair begins to grow everywhere, and worst of all.. pimples! They start showing up all over the place! For some, it may seem like our world has come crashing down around us. For others, those lucky tweens and teens, its a beautiful and wonderful experience as we grow into our new selves.

However, puberty isn’t just a difficult time for tweens. This can be just as difficult for parents as well! While we all have gone through this strange, zit-popping, rights-of-passage, as parents we still run into speed bumps when it comes to communicating with our emotion-driven tweens. We need to take a minute and step back when our tween or teen begins to have an emotional meltdown or starts to lock themselves away, and instead of immediately rushing to them and demanding to know whats wrong, and think back to when we were younger and why we reacted the same way.

Here are some of my thoughts on this:

“We as adults have often forgotten about how hard it is to move into adolescence. The body changes alone, are overwhelming. How many of us suffered with pimples, anxieties about getting our period, and all sorts of other issues? Just about all of us, although these issues may seem very far away now. I remember some mood swings that seemed to come out of the blue when I was 11. Hormones raging through my body, I’m sure didn’t help.

We can make the situation a lot more bearable if we share some of our memories about ourselves. Maybe it is even the time to get our the photographs and share stories behind the pictures of us at 11, 12 or 13. Laughing and admitting situations that we may even wish we could forget, give our kids courage to manage and live through growing up.

And good advise can also go along way. When I had such terrible raging moods at 11 my mother got advice from the nurse in the school where she was a teacher. She came home and shared this advice with me, instead of yelling at me for jumping up and down on my bed like a maniac and holding by breath at the same time.

She explained to me that when hormones are changing our moods sometimes can’t keep up with the changes but by the time I would get my period I would actually feel a lot less moody. And she also told me that she wasn’t worried now that she understood where my mood was coming from. So information and compassion were a win-win for both of us.

In summary: Getting and giving accurate advice, and sharing about our own ups and downs as we moved through those years can take the pressure off a lot of what is happening.”

pubertyrollercosterPuberty is difficult on everyone. Especially our kids. If we’re a little more understanding with them and we remember back to when we were going through the same issues as they are now, we can better help them through this time and make them much more successful. After all, we do want them to grow up! In fact, sometimes during those difficult years we wish they would grow up overnight! Just hang in there, time will pass, moods will even out, pimples will be less, and if you show compassion you and your tween or teen may still enjoy these somewhat difficult years.

Valentine’s Day For Divorced Women – Positive Psychologist Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Offers Tips

Valentine”s Day For Divorced Women – Positive Psychologist Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Offers Tips –

Advice from a Friend

Dear Friend,

I’ve read about your struggles and troubles throughout your diary, and I can tell it hasn’t been easy.Having a mother, for instance, that won’t explain to you the answers of your questions, or your confusion. It was vital to me when I was at your stage of maturing and puberty .It’s never easy, but I know I was glad when I had private talks with my mother about things I didn’t understand, and I too was worried when I’d have my first period, when I’d need a bra, and things like that. My mother did not avoid these questions and I’m glad for that. I’m only a bit older than you are and I would be more than happy to supply you with any help or advice I can, but I still think your parents, especially your mother, should do a better job.Also, about Paul… It’s nice to have a childhood crush, and to want children, I had thoughts about such too. But I need to tell you – you may want to marry your crush, but it’s not a good idea to do it when you’re a teenager, regardless of whether or not your grandmother or other relatives had done it in the past. Let’s just say it’s harmful to have children before you are fully mature, because as a teenager your body wouldn’t handle it as well, and it could hurt you. Whether you had this in mind or not – I warn you….

This young lady has more advice and it will be shared in another blog update. Meanwhile, please get your advice to the ‘girl’ as quickly as possible!

Every Child Has Questions About Growing Up

I remember as a child wondering what it would be like to be a grown-up.  I wondered how my body would change and when.  I also wondered what it would be like to be able to make decisions that to me as a child, seemed momentous, such as buying a car or a home.  These any many other questions are all normal.  But unfortunately parents often forget that their children have, what is to them, very serious questions that need answers.  Parents often treat the questions as trivial or even silly.  Some parents may even laugh out loud at a child when she asks something they think is ridiculous.  Other parents may walk away, perhaps embarrassed to handle the subject being questioned, or maybe considering it unimportant and just looking to get on with their day.
As a psychologist I am very concerned about parental practices that are dismissive of kid’s questions.  Most kids are asking sincere questions.  These questions reflect their uncertainties about things that seem important to them. The correct answers not only quiet their anxieties and fears but give them the tools they need to move ahead in development.  So here are some tips for you:
1.  Assume any question from you child is not a joke and treat it with dignity.  Answer as best you can and make sure to leave the door open that you can discuss that issue again.
2.  If you can’t answer it at that moment tell her when you can get back to her with an answer and discussion.
3.  If you are not the right person to answer the question, help her find the right person.
4.  Give her examples from your own past as to how you successfully handled issues that come up as we grow and change.
5.  Check back with her later or in the foreseeable future to see if she has more questions on a particular subject.  That way you give her a secure feeling that she can ask more if she needs to.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein on Holistic Children Radio

Come and check out Holistic Children Radio where I talk about THE ENCHANTED SELF: Truth for Mothers and Daughters. I share a lot about positive psychology and of course about The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything). Click Here